What I Got Wrong About Growing a Therapy Practice
Everywhere you look there’s an expert. There is always someone telling you “the truth behind” or the “hidden dangers” of something. It doesn’t matter whether it’s travel, a nutritional supplement or as is my case, mental health, these posts on social media are positioned as the “goto person,” the one holding information that you need to live your life better, longer, with more money. You can bet there’s a quiz to help you figure it out and a free offer that costs only your email.
Before this comes off as a complaint or demeaning, many, if not most, of these people are trustworthy, competent professionals getting help from a marketing expert to grow a business in creator or performative expert world. What they have to offer is most likely real and worth the money they charge. Why spend hour after hour sitting with clients when a course could do the same thing? But, can it?
As an owner of a therapy practice who has almost zero marketing skill (or desire to do marketing), it’s hard to resist the temptation to follow in the footsteps of the “marketing experts.” It sounds great to work less and make more money, and there are lots of people that can help you change your practice to do just that. I know. They’ve gotten my money and time, but unfortunately didn’t work out.
For the past two years I’ve been searching for how to revamp my practice to meet my own needs, get away from the trappings of insurance as well as the entire industry built around it, and most importantly better meet the needs of my clients.
What was missing in the many attempts of reshaping my work was a truthful deep dive into what makes the difference with my clients. What is it about working with me that helps them achieve their goals and build a life they want to live? What makes me different from the next therapist outside of education and specialty?
It sounds so simple, but we just couldn’t figure it out even with marketing experts, help from other clinicians, and a lot of self-reflection. That resulted in the standard marketing advice: be the expert.
Here’s the rub with being “the expert:” I disagree with the concept of everyone positioned as an expert and believe calling myself an expert is disingenuous at best. An expert is someone that has deep education, knowledge, and experience in one or a small number of areas. They are needed and help to contribute good information, but the constant positioning of the expert dilutes the message. My experience is broad with some depth, but also part of my strengths as a therapist.
After lots of help and way more introspection than feels good, I realized being the performative expert isn’t for me and neither is the creator culture. I don’t want to spend everyday recording videos with clickbait titles that never bring in a client. Spending the time worrying about click rates and other statistics, takes away from the time I need to keep current, learning new skills, and have a balance in life that makes the hard work worth it.
It turns out I just needed to ask my clients (what a concept). They were happy to share. They shared that the difference in my work is our connection. Nothing complex. It’s repeatable, but not with a computer program. It turns out they weren’t really looking for an expert, they were looking for someone who could sit with the horrific shit making every day a struggle without judgement.
According to my clients, not being alone in the journey and being accepted exactly as they are is what makes the difference. Showing up with patience. Meeting them without enforcing a strict treatment plan or protocol. Recovery and healing from trauma is not linear. It’s messy. It’s loud. It’s emotional. It’s hard work. It feels like shit at times. But, when the healing starts to happen, it can be liberating.
I’m not the only therapist that accomplishes this—far from it, I’m just one of many. But, we need more that embrace connection first, before pathology, courses, treatment plans, and long winded assessments. Professionals that let go of being fixers and instead guides and companions in the journey.
After months of deep dives into making changes and more money spent than feels comfortable to admit, what makes the difference for me as well as my clients is connection. It’s the daily work of sitting with, holding space for the person that’s been hurting for years. That’s the magic for them and me. It’s why my practice exists. I may still offer a class here and there, but the real work for me is in the room with clients. They’ve already been through hell. They deserve more.
Will this shift make a difference? We’ll see—I’ve been wrong before. But, it makes a difference in how I can talk about my work to others. It feels authentic to me and my work. It comes from real clients and how they have seen change in their lives. If anything, I feel like it honors them, their courage, their hard work, as well as their hard earned healing.
